You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
