brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Dignity is for republicans.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
