Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
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