Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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