anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
