mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
The power of my boobs compel you
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
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