with your own penis?
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
soo... how was my night?
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
