If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
foreskin is a definite game changer
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
