Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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