I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
