I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
