Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
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