His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
