we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Randomize
