Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
