Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
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