Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
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