He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
