I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize