Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
Randomize
