laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
