I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
whose parrot is this?
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
Randomize
