i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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