Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Randomize
