I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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