this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize