He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
