i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
