So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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