Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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