How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
