Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
We have started to decorate penises.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Randomize
