I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i love accidental penises.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
