why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
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