Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize