Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Randomize
