does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
