when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
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