Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
