Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize