OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
he just fucked me for my cheese.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
