Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize