Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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