im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
