Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
