Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
why do cheetos always look like penises
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Randomize
