I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
