were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
