He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize