i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
