gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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