Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
