Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
