Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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