He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
