im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
