So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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