i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Randomize
