If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
